Celebrating the opening of the Deluoode Federal Reserve!

[Maypews]

Lab members, it has come to my attention that there has been an uptick in Upa-related crime on the forum lately. Lots of robberies.. oh how can we allow this senseless violence go on? In order to combat this, I've decided to break ground on the DELUOODE FEDERAL RESERVE!

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The Deluoode Federal Reserve is a centralised banking system that you can deposit your funds into. Doing so will allow you to keep your hard-earned Upas safe from criminal vermin. As compensation for the essential service that the Committ- I mean, that we are providing, you will be changed a monthly interest rate of 15% and a withdrawal rate of 5%.

You may rest assured however that this money will go straight into the welfare and upkeep of the forum, subsidising essential expenses such as the genetic engineering of more waifus and shop items. We would NEVER EVER use it to line our own pockets, we promise. On this you have my solemn oath.

We hope you enjoy the new services being provided. Signing off,
Maypews

[NonoEnjoyer]

I speak for all Deluoodians when I state the following:

We will NOT stand for the establishment of a tyrannical central banking institution. Certainly not one whose power rests in the hands of petty criminals and whoresons. Wretches and villains whose hands have never once been calloused from hard work, who've never wiped sweat from a brow after a day's labor.

Deluoodia is a nation of strong, intelligent, self-sufficient men and women who will not be the playthings of bankers and politicians. How INSULTING it is that you would even begin to believe that red-blooded Deluoodians would buy into this fanciful DELUSION? How convenient it is that as soon as robbers, highwaymen, and footpads begin fleecing the pockets of our dear citizens, that the so-called administration shall rear its ugly head and offer a solution?

A solution to a problem the beast itself created! I say again, Deluoodians shall not suffer the wrongdoings of bureaucrats, taxmen, and the nepotistic dregs of society. As a nation founded on the sacred principles of Right to Post, Freedom of Smilies, and Pursuit of Upas, it is every Deluoodian's DUTY and PRIVILEGE to stand up for these rights!

We will not go gently into the good night! As acting Supreme Leader of the newly-formed Deluoode Revolutionary Guard Corps, I hereby declare an open act of rebellion against the tyrannical establishment! There will be no compromise, no surrender, until every wretch and rapscallion responsible for this disastrous government overreach is swinging from the branches of a mighty oak! Death to all tyrants, God save Deluoodia!

[TheEvilShadoo]

I designed a badge for all Deluoode FED workers to wear so that they can be easily identified. I propose this uniform update should be rolled out immediately.

[Blond]

My fellow brothers, I, Blond Cypher Jr., stand here today, humbled by the task before us, mindful of the sacrifices born by our internet ancestors.

We are in the midst of crisis. Deluoode is at war against a far reaching storm of disturbance and of leash. Upa's economy is badly weakened, a consequence of carelessness and irresponsibility of the part of management, but also on the collective failure to make hard choices and prepare for a new, Mad Age.

Today, I say to you that the challenge is real, they are serious, and there are many. They will not be easily met or in a short span of time, but know that: at Deluoode, they will be met. In reaffirming the greatness of our site, we understand that greatness is never given, our journey has never been one of shortcuts. It has not been for the path, for the faint hearted, or seek only the fleshly pleasures. Rather, it has been the risk takers, the wasted genie, the creators of, Mad Things. For us, they toiled in sweatshops, endured the lash of the whip, time and time again. These men struggled and sacrificed so that we might; live better.

We remain the most powerful forum on the Internet and minds are no less inventive and services were no less needed, that they were last week, or yesterday, or the day before the day after tomorrow. Starting today, we must roll up our sleeves, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking Deluoode. Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions, who suggest that our service system cannot tolerate to many posts. There memories are short, for they have forgotten what Deluoode already has done, what free men can achieve when imagination is joined with common purpose. And so, to all of the people that are reading this speech, from the grandest cities to the small villages where Bob was born, know that Deluoode is a friend of every man and woman who seeks a future of love & peace.

Now, we will begin to leave file sizes larger than 3 Mib to Deluoode's people and forge a hard, earned piece in this, Mad World. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility. This is the price and the promise of Deluoode's citizenship. Deluoode in the face of are common dangers in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words: ASS WE CAN. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested by wrong-siders, and attacked by Vietnamese bots, we did not turn back, nor did we falter. And we were carried forth that the great gift of freedom be delivered and is safely to future generations.

Thank You. God Bless. And God Bless Deluoode.

[Parzival]

[NonoEnjoyer]

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In the Name of Del-chan, the most Gracious, the most Merciful.

15:00 UTC marks the close of the first phase of Operation Sköll. This operation was planned and carried out in response to the announcement of the opening of the Deluoode federal reserve. As the Deluoode Federal Reserve's existence as an institution constitutes an existential threat to the Deluoodian way of life, as outlined in the Deluooosional Articles of Confederation, it was determined by DRGC leadership that a swift and decisive response was necessary. The DRGC announces that we have struck a plethora of infrastructure instrumental to regime operations around the globe. This attack involved the movement and coordination of hundreds of DRGC personnel, whose timeliness and precision in carrying out Operation Sköll will be remembered until the end of the age.

Phase 1 involved the targeting of regime infrastructure in several countries of interest, with aim of snapping the spine of our enemy's resistance. Strikes were carried out in the Netherlands, Vietnam, the United States, and Israel.

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Figure 1: nations of interest

DRGC Missile Forces first engaged regime targets in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. Deluoodians are doubtless aware of the constant swarms of Vietnamese bots ever-present in forumspace. Prior to Phase 1, the DRGC uncovered intelligence suggesting that the botnet plague was actually being funded and supplied by the Deluoode regime itself. Though the operation was in its infancy, it is believed that the ultimate goal was to create a botnet swarm so large as to make Deluoode completely unusable. At that point, it would be announced that Deluoode would require a tithe from its loyal membership in order to view and use the site, as a means of mitigating the botnet problem. Thanks to the decisive action of DRGC personnel, this plan will never materialize. The complex in which the bot farm resided was struck with over 30 Senri-136 unmanned attack drones and 15 Kyouma-3 IRBM missiles. The enemy's air defense was unable to intercept the attack, and the botnet and its operators were destroyed.

Secondly, DRGC missile forces launched precision attacks against the headquarters of Mayssad in Tel Aviv, and additionally struck the infamous Unit 2011 complex. DRGC loyalists in the region uncovered a plot with Unit 2011 to flood Deluoode forumspace with thousands of BBC and Furry Porn images, which would've seen the regime disable the free posting of images for all users. As with the Vietnamese botnet plan, this would've ultimately resulted in the regime requiring members to pay a monthly fee to post images-- a total infringement on the Right to Post and a tyrannical move that the DRGC will not stand for. The targeted sites were again struck with over 20 Senri-136 drones, Kyouma-3 IRBMS, and Akiho-500 SRBMs. Mayssad HQ and the Unit 2011 complex were struck from the Earth, never to return again.

The third target of DRGC forces resided in Den Haag, Netherlands. The Netherlands is home to precious Deluoode server infrastructure, vital to the flow of data both on and off site. What many Deluoodian patriots may not know is that the country was also home to a large bank. As we are all aware, a recent string of digital robberies has left many Deluoodians destitute, with the only recourse being provided by the regime that of the hated and evil so-called "federal reserve." Millions of funds stolen in these robberies were deposted in this bank in Den Haag, which would've doubtlessly been invested in further plans to defraud Deluoodian patriots. DRGC Is pleased to announce that this bank, and all of the stolen upas therein, was wholly destroyed.

Finally, DRGC forces targeted a large data center complex in Atlanta, Georgia, USA. This complex was home to an LLM Neural Network that was designed and funded by none other than Maypews himself, the mouthpiece and talking head of the tyrant Deluoode administration. It is believed by DRGC that Maypews was training an LLM to become the ultimate Mario Kart speedrun tool, which he would've then used to forge world-record times on tracks the series over. Maypews dumped billions of precious Upas into the funding of this vain and fruitless project. Kyouma-3 IRBMs, Hinae-110 IRBMS, and Akiho-500 SRBMs were instrumental in ensuring the data center's destruction.

This marks only the first phase of many to come for Operation Sköll. The DRGC will not rest until the back of the imperialist and tyrannical Deluoode regime is eternally shattered. We shall knock on the gates of paradise with the skulls of our oppressors.

In Del-chan we trust.

[Maypews]

Following the all-out attack by the DRGC on critical Deluoode infrastructure and widespread unrest from the citizenry, it has been agreed upon by the higher ups that the federal reserve will be abolished effective in 3 days time. If you have money in the reserve it is highly recommended to withdraw it now.

A Mayssad investigation is underway, which criticises the actions of the DRGC for targeting the financial backers of Deluoode BBS instead of going after the SERN thiefs who stole the initial funds and necessitated the measure. Strict anti-crime measures have however been put in place, and as such it is no longer possible for users to commit widescale robbery from this point forward.

It is however nonetheless clear that the spirit of the site stands firmly against the centralised currency. Even Del-chan herself has spoken out against the measure, quoted shortly before leading DRGC forces into battle as follows -

"YOU ARE A DEN OF VIPERS AND THIEVES, AND BY THE ETERNAL GOD I WILL ROUT YOU OUT!"

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Mayssad representatives refuse to comment further on the matter at this time.

(P.S. I didn't actually receive any of the interest or tax money into my own balance, those upas just vanished into the ether. Just like real taxpayer funds!)

[NonoEnjoyer]

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In the name of Del-chan, the most gracious, the most merciful.

Make no mistake that the public statement by Maypews, the mouthpiece of the tyrannical Deluoodian regime, is little more than a farcical effort to reconcile his image in the eyes of the citizenry. The DRGC sees through these lies, and will continue to ensure that Deluoodian principles are upheld, or die trying.

Wasting DRGC resources on attacking SERN, a mere cog in the machine, rather than focusing on the beast itself, is nonsensical-- not that we expect that the Deluoodian administration's decisions and decrees to ever be sensible. The results speak for themselves, as the decisive response by DRGC forces has already brought the central bank and its backers to its knees.

The straw that broke the tyrant's back was delivered this morning, when the first DRGC-operated botnet came online. Taking a page out of our enemy's book, DRGC Cyberspace command has been steadfastly working on an AI operation of its own. A top-secret localized LLM has been in development for over six months, having been fed thousands of M-chat messages and Deluoode PMs as training data.

The result is a highly efficient content engagement machine, able to leave thousands of posts a second. These posts are comprised of a great breadth of racial slurs originating from over 40 countries, and written in 80+ languages. DRGC Cyberspace Command deployed this racism relay in a targeted attack against the Maypews youtube channel, which saw dozens of Mario Kart uploads taken offline forever. Obviously, the enemy was unable to withstand this piercing attack, and thus concessions have followed.

Time will tell if the Deluoodian administration will keep their word. The POU (Post of Undertanding) is expected to be ready for public release within the stated 3-day window. DRGC forces stand ready to receive Del-chan's word should further action be necessary against the imperialist, tyrannical oligarchs who rule over Deluoodia.

In Del-chan we trust.