RISK: Deloousional Edition

[Parzival]

Gonna go early since I work tomorrow and probably won't be able to get on until the turn is over.

Hyperborean forces in Belarus and Ukraine meet up in the westernmost portion of the Ukrainian north, focusing their efforts on westernmost Ukraine and spreading across southern Poland, with any extra manpower going to taking the rest of Ukraine, all to firmly establish the Empire's border with Yugoslavia. (+6)

[Maypews]

Second Mongol Empire (+16) - Turn 10 - NAP: Outer Heaven

POV: Baron von Ungern-Sternberg
4:20 PM
Today is finally the day. Having marked this day on my calendar weeks ago, I will finally get to meet the representatives of the Neo-Byzantine movement face to face and hopefully come to terms regarding the relationship between our nations.

I have heard that this empire, which beforehand supposedly operated on primitive technology limited to melee weapons and did not even yet have firearms, has been entranced by a man clearly foreign to the region who speaks an incomprehensible tongue. I have always been a sucker for Roman aesthetics, and when combined with Egypt's delicacies and the fact that they supposedly have a most bizarre figure in tow, you can imagine that I've amped myself up quite a bit for this meeting.

It is set to begin at 5 PM, though the opposing envoy will typically arrive early so as to ensure that they are not tardy. Thus I have spent most of this time glaring out from the palace window, awaiting the appearance of this in the distance. After enough time elapses, a silouhette finally emerges in the distance. It seems to move excruciatingly slow however, and I cannot help but wonder why since you would figure they'd want to retreat indoors to a more comfortable climate.

4:50 PM
After a very long wait, I finally get to see the first of the Egyptian convoy entering into the palace gate. I am honestly amazed at just how true to life it all is; the mixture of Eastern Roman and Egyptian aesthetics present on the carriages is impeccable. It could easily be mistaken for a scene straight out of the rule of Justinian. There is a total lack of modern amenities or motorisation, something which I find admirable as the ruler of a nation which also seeks to invoke the triumphs of a past empire.

Already mystified by this foreign nation's introduction, the next 10 minutes take what feels like 100. Finally, I am notified that the envoys are on their way to the chamber. I cannot help but feel giddy, before I finally hear the door creak open slowly.

Into the room march a few men, clad in armor and carrying long spears. I immediately notice them from my historical studies. These men are kontaroi, the famed Byzantine spearmen of yore! Truly marvelous. Before long, a man who looks decisively different in appearance from the tanner servants surrounding him steps into the room. He is clad in the toortsog that I gifted him. So this must be him...

"Bist du jener Ryder, von dem ich so viel gehört habe?" I begin the conversation in my native German tongue, since according to the information I received, he speaks an unheard of language.

"Uhh.. you said Ryder? Yeah that's me."

For a moment, my eyes widen and I stare back completely dumbfounded. Two things. Firstly, he's just speaking English! Secondly... that accent.. although it sounds a bit different from the accent that we are familiar with in this era in some ways, I believe that is..

"A-are you from the American South...?" I say, stuttering a bit because I am still rather taken aback by the whole ordeal. I had learned how to speak English as apart of my noble upbringing, and it seems today it will come in handy.

"Oh yeah, I can hear you loud and clear, you're really speaking my language you know? Dang.. I never thought I'd find someone speaking English out here in this foreign place, you've got a bit of a funny accent but the words are all the same. Yeah I'm from Tennessee.. lord knows I'm a lot further from it than I'd want to be."

"Is the man to your right not an interpreter? How did nobody else notice that you were speaking English?"

"Oh that's my buddy Lawrence, he's a bit of an oddball. See, sometimes I can understand him, but then he just goes all crazy with the words. He must be a foreigner that ain't fully learned how to speak our tongue all the way yet.."

My eyes pan over to Lawrence. From my visage, he seems quite clearly to be a man of Northern European descent. I suppose it is possible that he is some sort of Swede or German that is early in his English studies, but even so he should've been able to tell what language it was that Ryder was speaking. This has me a bit curious, so I decide to call on him.

"So you are Lawrence, the top interpreter in the Neo-Byzantine realm?"

"Thou art right, Baron."

"...Come again?"

"Thi first gessing was right. I am Sir Lawrence, interpretour of and trewe servaunt of Ryder."

It feels as though my senses are being assailed. Why is he speaking in medieval English?!?! We are in the present day, present time after all. Wait a second.. is this how committed the Neo-Byzantine state is to the bit? So much so that they exclusively speak in the primitive version of all modern language?

My lungs cannot take it anymore, and I burst out into a fiery laugh.

"Ahahahahahahahaha! Oh my goodness, how marvelous! Are you all truly so devoted to carrying on the memory of Rome that you would speak in primitive dialects? Outstanding! I can tell already that we're going to be the best of friends."

"Hey now, I aint speaking no primitive dialect. This is how everyone talks back in Cairo." Ryder quickly interjects.

"Cairo? Does that mean that the capitol city of Egypt speaks English?"

"Oh naw, ain't nobody back in Egypt talk like me. Lawrence here is the closest we could find. I was talking 'bout how it was at home, back in my Cairo everyone speaks English. I never knew it was such a big world out there."

"I see." I quickly lean into the ear of one of my retainers and whisper him a request. Could you look into if there's a town in Tennessee known as Cairo? The man nods and exits the room. Well, I suppose it isn't impossible that there wouldn't be any English speakers in Egypt of all places. Perhaps Lawrence was learning Old English for some form of archaeological or historical studies.

"Well Ryder, shall we taste a bit of wine?"

"Oh yeah, that reminds me. I was told by Lawrence that it's expected to give a gift in return..."

My eyes dart over to Lawrence, who appears incredibly embarrassed and is now sweating profusely.

"...and so I went ahead and brewed you up a nice ol' bucket of Tennessee moonshine. This here recipe was passed down my family for a few generations, we're a bootlegging family you see."

"Is this some form of alcohol that I have never heard of?"

"Yeah that's right. I put my heart into this now y'hear? I hope you enjoy it."

Ryder grabs a glass and dips it into the bucket. He hands it over to me, and I analyse it intently.

"I see. My goodness, it is as though you were sent by the heavens to appeal to me specifically. I love a good glass of wine myself, even got expelled from the military a few times over drinking too much."

"Damn straight? Hell yeah. Hope you enjoy it then, this is a Dixieland delight right here."

Finally I take a swig, before almost immediately doing a spit take. What on earth is this godforsaken monstrosity? Every muscle in my throat and body is rejecting it. It's abominable! Gagging and choking on the beverage, I look up to see an evermore nervous Lawrence and Ryder staring at me blankly.

"Whatd'ya think?"

"..Is this your idea of winery?"

"Hell yeah it is!" He looks at me with a sincere gleam in his eyes, one that shows he has no doubt about his brewing capabilities. I once again erupt into a furious laughter.

"Bwahahaha! Oh my! To play such a prank on the head of state of a powerful neighbouring nation, how scandalous. You're just my kind of fellow, Ryder."

"Well, it ain't no prank, but I'm glad'ya like it. I'm quite fond of the new hat myself."

I put the glass on the side, vowing to muster up the courage to down all of it later, and finally look back up to the pair.

"Shall we get down to business then?"

"Sure thing, what you got in mind?"

"I have heard tell that you carry around some sort of weaponry that is highly advanced relative to what the local Egyptians have. I assume this must be some sort of firearm?"

"Aw yeah, you talkin about my ol' trusty shotgun? I left it out in the Carruca out back, y'all mind if I go fetch it?"

5:30 PM
While waiting for Ryder to return with his gun, I look at the other men in the room. The kontaroi have stood there motionless, and I cannot help but become curious.

"How long did it take you all to make such authentic replicas?" I ask, giving it to my interpreter to forward into Greek. The interpreter soon says back to me...

"They said that they are not replicas, they are just the armour that was passed down to them."

"Oh I see! They must be authentic, preserved articles of some sort. How lovely."

Not long after this exchange takes place, Ryder finally enters the room. The spearmen see the weapon and their eyes light up. It's as though they've never seen a gun before. Finally Ryder presents it to me, and I give it a thorough inspection.

"What is this? It is high tech indeed! I have never seen a gun so advanced before. Although I could see technology eventually advancing into wielding such weapons, it seems many years ahead of the curb. Who was the man who sculpted this?"

"Man, I aint got no idea. My grandpappy handed it down to me, it's an old Winchester 1300. He used it out in 'Nam."

I once again whisper to a man beside me, asking him if he has ever heard of the model. This fellow is what one might consider a gun otaku, and yet he says that no such model exists. I cannot help but wonder if this was custom made by a legendary blacksmith or something of the sort.

"You know, nobody in Egypt even knows what a gun is." Ryder starts. "That's part of how I ended up here, they keep saying that they need the technology I provide. They hadn't ever seen a truck before either.. I knew that Africa was poor but I didn't realise it was this bad..."

"My word.. that is saddening indeed." I say, looking over the gun for one last time. "Egypt was once such a proud civilisation..." I pause for a moment, before an idea illuminates my head.

"Perhaps we could trade? My Mongol army possesses large quantities of firearms and early tank armour. If you let me temporarily hold on to this gun so that I can run it through my military advisors and see if they are able to replicate the technology inside of it, we could perhaps produce it en masse and modernise our army further. We could also sell some of these arms to you later to replace the older ones we give you if you'd like. In fact, I am rather quite interested in entering into a formal alliance with Egypt. Would this be satisfactory to you?"

Ryder thinks on my words for a moment.. before finally deciding. @capstasher

[Maypews]

As for my roll, fill Syria, spills Kuwait then Jordan.

[dokyun]

Outer Heaven | Turn #10 | Bonus +1 | NAP: 2nd Mongol Empire

POV: Big Boss

"Boss, we've received intel about the leader of Memphis. He appears to be an American who dropped into some kind of insurgency within Egypt as part of a movement to restore the late Byzantine Empire. He's already covered quite a bit of ground across North Africa, and already has designs on Spain. I don't know who's been accompanying him but I've heard he only speaks English. Maybe you should go talk to him."

"An American, huh? And he just landed in the middle of Egypt and suddenly he's spearheading a revolution. Sounds all a bit too convenient if you ask me, but it looks like he might have the right stuff."

"He's currently engaged in talks with von Ungern, the leader of the Second Mongol Empire. I know you've had your differences in the past but this might be a good chance to tie loose ends between the three of you."

"Yeah, I still don't trust him after what happened back in Zanzibar, but we've made a peace deal for now. Once we start making gains in the Middle East it'll become apparent to them what we're capable of. We can use this as an opportunity to act as a mediator between the two, cementing our interests while existing as a deterrent. That's why we're here in the first place."

Although getting a bit old at this point in his life, Big Boss still insists on carrying out Outer Heaven's expeditions the old fashioned way. By the time the talks with the Baron are over he'll be on his way to Egypt whether this Ryder guy wants him there or not. But he's got a feeling they'll get along just fine-- after all, they've got quite a lot in common. @capstasher

[dokyun]

(Since it looks like there's going to be some spills outside Oman, put them into Saudi Arabia.)

[alix]

(+20)

Life can take really weird turns.

If everything had gone as usual, Europe would have remained mostly the same, Yugoslavia would have never risen back from the dead, and Marshall "Alix" Selimović would have continued his kinda-normal life on the other extreme of Europe. But of course, whatever happened there had bigger plans for her.

Spoiler

A random evening in Zadar, Croatia....

"Stalno vam govorim da nisam odavde! Isuse, ne mogu ni govoriti na hrvatsk-"

"It's what we were looking for! The second coming of Tito! Why else would this random individual with perfect domination of all Balkan languages and various works written by the Marshall himself on her pocket fall head-first into the place where the Marshall's portrait was supposed to go?"

"Shit.."

And so, Alix found herself as the new leader of the small socialist revolt taking place next to the Adriatic, and soon what was expected to end like shit turned into the reunification of Yugoslavia, which soon extended into the rest of the Balkans and Europe, and surprisingly showing no signs of ethnic conflicts. After various reforms with the objective of bringing back a Titoist republic fit for the new millenium were put in place, foreign policy became the main focus of the administration as various negotiations and deals between the new powers of the world, such as the Mongols or the American-led Byzantine-Egyptian fusion empire of Memphis. However, there was something weird in the new rulers of what used to be the Soviet Union. Something fishy that she couldn't remember yet...

Spoiler

"Hej Zoran, možeš li mi, molim te, dati naše dosjee o vanjskoj politici?"

"Naravno, moj maršale."

"Koja je opet bila njihova zastava...? Oh, shit..."

BREAKING NEWS: President Alix Selimović of the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia has declared earlier today that Yugoslavia won't tolerate "the expansion of the deranged fascist cult that governs the Russian nation" and that "the JNA will ensure by any means possible the protection of the European people and the defeat of reactionarism". While not having declared war on the Empire yet, Yugoslavian troops have taken full control of Czechia and Italy, and have also set missions in Switzerland, Southern Germany, the Rhine, and parts of France. Not much is known about the next plans of the Marshall, but the two Slav superpowers may be face-to-face soon enough.

Spoiler

On other news, recent leaks indicate that the Yugoslavian government's emphasis on SCIENCE has moved towards artificial intelligence. However, other leaks also indicate that one of the project's main investigators on "the nature of life" has gotten into problems around Serbia. Said leaks still haven't been confirmed.

[Maypews]

As for my roll, fill Syria, spills Kuwait then Jordan.

Since I have spills, I will use them as follows.

POV: Radio Channel MNG
"Today we bring to you a special report. This is straight from the Winter Palace located in Ulanbataar, and we are on orders to broadcast it immediately" says the radio host, who appears to be in a cold sweat. Between bouts of her eyes darting around the room, she continues. "This is an important message straight from Baron Roman von Ungern-Sternberg."

After some time passes, the mic feed is switched over to the Baron.

"It has come to our attention that the two Slavic brother nations, much to the international community's surprise, appear to be one stepped removed from engaging in conflict. This has been done almost entirely at the behest of the communist Yugoslavian dictator Alix Selimovic. The country has already expanded deep into Western Europe, and now appear to be headed eastwards as well. They seem intent on circling into France, and already have Germany's immense resources waiting to fall into their lap as well."

"As such, we are forced to take preventative measures in order to contain Yugoslavia's untamed aggression. Mongol troops have advanced into southern Russia, namely the area situated around the Caucasus. Let me clarify that our current action is not meant to provoke any of the nations of the world."

"This operation has been carried out for a few reasons; the first and most immediately obvious is to disable the Russian bonus so that the Yugoslavians can not grow evermore powerful. If we do not do this, it is very possible that the Yugoslavian empire could grow to such heights that even the combined might of all of the rest of the nation's militaries could not defeat them, their bonus would almost certainly exceed +40 if they are allowed to take hold of Eastern Europe."

"Furthermore, the Yugoslavians have used the very same strategy in Anatolia; they occupy a small portion of it in order to neutralise the bonus and create a small buffer zone. We essentially propose that Russia will become another international buffer zone in the very same vein. We will gladly cede any Russian territory that we occupy to Hyperborea in the event that the invasion is called off or in the event that Hyperborea wins the conflict, as we recognise the Hyperborean Empire as the rightful ruler of these lands."

"Secondly, the lands situated in the Caucasus that are nearest to Mongol control but outside of Hyperborean control are essentially lawless. Though they are nominally controlled by the despotic Soviet government, the Soviet powerbase is largely situated exclusively in the far east, and the state itself is all but in exile. As such these territories are essentially anarchic, and given that many of their inhabitants are also nomadic peoples, we would like to liberate them from their current circumstances."

"Thirdly, we have absolutely no intention of joining either side of this conflict. The Mongols maintain a policy of strict neutrality and only seek to serve as an international intermediary in the conflict. We hope that this senseless war can be de-escalated, and if not, we send out our prayers to all of the young men who will be sent to the slaughter."

[alix]

IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO LEADER OF OUTER HEAVEN @dokyun:
The ideologies of our nations are... differing, to say the least, but as this entire continent goes into flames it's getting clearer that Yugoslavia won't keep fighting as well as it's done if we don't establish any alliances soon enough. While the treaties with Memphis have seen some success, the truth is that they're certainly closer to the Mad Baron's sphere of influence and that we are surrounded in two, possibly three, sides. Your mercenaries already have firsthand experience of the Mongolians' imperialism, and despite what one could possibly think our beliefs aren't that unwelcoming to your troops. We're not maoists or stalinists but rather modern Titoists, eurosocialists. We already know that you have a NAP with the Empire, but considering that you've already been open to diplomacy with us and that Outer Heaven must want payback for the destruction of Zanzibar Land, it surely wouldn't be that bad to get some sort of alliance going...

[dokyun]

IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO LEADER OF OUTER HEAVEN @dokyun:
The ideologies of our nations are... differing, to say the least, but as this entire continent goes into flames it's getting clearer that Yugoslavia won't keep fighting as well as it's done if we don't establish any alliances soon enough. While the treaties with Memphis have seen some success, the truth is that they're certainly closer to the Mad Baron's sphere of influence and that we are surrounded in two, possibly three, sides. Your mercenaries already have firsthand experience of the Mongolians' imperialism, and despite what one could possibly think our beliefs aren't that unwelcoming to your troops. We're not maoists or stalinists but rather modern Titoists, eurosocialists. We already know that you have a NAP with the Empire, but considering that you've already been open to diplomacy with us and that Outer Heaven must want payback for the destruction of Zanzibar Land, it surely wouldn't be that bad to get some sort of alliance going...

We have no ideology, no philosophy. We need no reason to fight, we fight because we are needed.

Although the Mongols have been showing some grace towards the Hyperboreans, they haven't entirely cleared up their alignment either, although they're pivoting on a policy of neutrality. As things are right now we'll have trouble backing you up in a direct fight if we can't get a route through to the Caucasus, so the best we can do is deter them from wanting to change their mind.

With that said, we'll agree to your proposal for as long as any potential conflict lasts. I'm sure some of your top AI researchers will be intrigued by the work we do back at Outer Heaven.

[alix]

IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO LEADER OF OUTER HEAVEN @dokyun:
The ideologies of our nations are... differing, to say the least, but as this entire continent goes into flames it's getting clearer that Yugoslavia won't keep fighting as well as it's done if we don't establish any alliances soon enough. While the treaties with Memphis have seen some success, the truth is that they're certainly closer to the Mad Baron's sphere of influence and that we are surrounded in two, possibly three, sides. Your mercenaries already have firsthand experience of the Mongolians' imperialism, and despite what one could possibly think our beliefs aren't that unwelcoming to your troops. We're not maoists or stalinists but rather modern Titoists, eurosocialists. We already know that you have a NAP with the Empire, but considering that you've already been open to diplomacy with us and that Outer Heaven must want payback for the destruction of Zanzibar Land, it surely wouldn't be that bad to get some sort of alliance going...

We have no ideology, no philosophy. We need no reason to fight, we fight because we are needed.

Although the Mongols have been showing some grace towards the Hyperboreans, they haven't entirely cleared up their alignment either, although they're pivoting on a policy of neutrality. As things are right now we'll have trouble backing you up in a direct fight if we can't get a route through to the Caucasus, so the best we can do is deter them from wanting to change their mind.

With that said, we'll agree to your proposal for as long as any potential conflict lasts. I'm sure some of your top AI researchers will be intrigued by the work we do back at Outer Heaven.

We're glad to know that both of our nations are able to show friendship between each other. As for a possible war, all possibilities have been considered. The Marshall knows best.