Chaos;HeadNoah — fuwa's playthrough
Log#3
Okay it's time to write the log again. I've made quite a bit more progress than last time. So far reached chapter 3, this is where I make the log.
Honestly these are taking me a bit too much time now, and I feel like I might be spoiling the story for myself with too much thinking. I spend 30% of my experience writing stuff lol. What do you all think that I should focus on? My most unbelievable moments, funny ones, stuff that caught my eye? My delusions of choice? I don't know if I should explain the lore so closely, most of you probably remember it anyway. Give me feedback.
Lets start with what I think of Takumi as of now. Honestly, my opinion on him didn't really change much. I think that I kinda like him actually. Some parts of him are similar to me, just to a lesser or much lesser extent. He is not such an asshole as I thought he would be, from what I've seen he's only like that to his sister sometimes. At this point I think that I fully understand the extent of his social anxiety, and his sense of reality. There's definitely something wrong, but I just don't know what yet. I'm still wondering if I'm really "those eyes"? whose eyes are "those eyes"?
What surprised me about him was his childhood. I thought that his social struggles were mainly caused by ordinary problems. What actually was the cause, is far from it. As a kid he had vivid imagination. Surprisingly, he also seemed to manifest precognitive powers. His overprotective parents definitely caused some issues, but as I've learned, everything was because of his prediction of the fatal bus accident. He withdrew socially, completely acted mute. It's not surprising to see him become an otaku.
Now with the story. I had chosen denpa delusion for Yua. I wanted him to avoid her. Turns out that there was definitely something on point with being suspicious of Yua. But she's definitely not suspicious in the way that I thought she'd be. It was really surprising to see her accusing Taku, of doing this stuff. She was super assertive, and I loved that tone of her's. But what she said about those photos... What the hell? I saw the images being sent by Shogun WITH MY OWN EYES. Can I really trust what I'm seeing? There's definitely something going on with Taku... But how can it be him? Is he tricking me? Am I his gaze? Is he only trying to convince me that what I'm seeing is true? I surely hope that he isn't deluding me... I feel really bad for Taku, it seems like he's suffering a lot. Wait... thinking back on the neidhardt monologue... Am I controlling Taku with the delusions or is he controlling me? I don't know, I can't know. But there's overwhelming evidence that Taku is either Shogun or that someone is framing him.
About the psychiatrist stuff. I understand Taku, if I had such uncertainty of reality I'd probably want to check up myself too. His hospital description stood out to me, I don't like places like those, what he was saying about the corridors and stuff, it definitely is true.
What was sad is that Dr. Takashina didn't remember Taku. It seemed like he gave younger Taku a lot of comfort. I had to chose neutral delusion here, it was not a time to freak out.
The scene with Dr. Takashina made me remember some memories of mine as well... how scary it feels to talk to a psychiatrist. I only did one time really.
After Takki went to sleep however, I of course treated him with a blissful delusion. He deserved some care, I didn't want him to suffer any longer. I guess that it was kinda weird and painful but he enjoyed it lol, what a masochist lmao.
After all that I tried to answer the psychological test as truthfully to him as possible, he needs good treatment. But that Nozomi memory of his was definitely weird. There's something going on behind the scenes since he was a child, it really wouldn't make sense otherwise.
Where things get really weird however... Taku goes on his pc to relax in ESO. Grim as always gets Taku in the know. Taku is fed up with New Gen, but has to check some shit or he'd fall behind in his guild. He checks some of this stuff, about to give up but Seira-tan gives him courage. I'm really happy that Taku at least has helpful delusions like Seira-tan.
Back in the police station, they find out that Taku was on scene in the third murder, however luckily they can't identity him. God... I'm so happy that Taku isn't dragged into more of this bs.
Taku finally has courage to check his browser cache. As Seira-tan said, he needs to prove Yua wrong. It's crazy that he manages to withstand looking at that picture, I can't imagine what kind of PTSD such situation could cause. The picture doesn't seem to be a fake... All of the theories seem to hold true. There is some precognitive shit going on. THE PICTURE WAS MADE A DAY BEFORE THE INCIDENT WHAT??? What's worse... Taku... Taku is... On that picture...
I don't know how to interpret that yet. But there's definitely some fuckery going on. How the hell is that possible? And the metadata comment... "Whose eyes are those eyes?"... Taku's crashout is completely valid, wtf, how would I react if I saw that? Why is life so hard on him?
Yua herself was looking into DID, she thinks that he might have it? I'm honestly not sure. He has to be involved somehow in this, but does he really have DID? Is our perception only limited to a part of him? Whose eyes are our eyes?
Poor Takki was also met with an intense gaze he couldn't shake off... At this point I don't think that it's only paranoia of his. It really hurts him. I hope that I'm not his gaze orz
After researching about precognitive powers and finding out about Fes, a day later he finally decides to go to a Phantasm show to find out more about her. I can't blame him for being scared honestly.
He was standing out there, outside the concert hall. Then the dialogue mentions "someone going down the stairs" -- my precognitive powers fucking fire off and I think of Misumi-kun. HE SHOWS UP IN THE NEXT DIALOGUE LINE... Damn... It happened again. At this point I accepted it as a part of the VN lol.
What seemed weird for me was that Takumi preferred to invite Misumi instead of going into the crowd alone? I'd usually have bigger problems with inviting people that I barely, but slightly know. Well now that I'm thinking about it... I can sorta understand it. He was probably scared of that demon girl far too much.
The music that was playing was fire.
My next delusion was green. At first Fes's gaze concerned me, but her sad look made me think that she felt bad for Taku? That she knew of something that might happen to him? I wanted him to trust her, that's why I went with green but... Yeah it was wild lmao. Black Mass in it's purest form. But it was a delusion after all, maybe Taku had gained some trust for her. (Surely not lol)
After all that, he was back to ESO and had philosophical thoughts about neidhardt again. I went with green delusion, wanted him to have some fun in baselard. Turns out he wanted to be in an eroge instead. Dude, then why didn't you play it while you were under my gaze?
Next comes his sister. He's at the phone shop. Now I understand why he's so annoyed of her. She doesn't really take his opinions into account, and makes him do stuff that he doesn't care about. But honestly? She's really nice. I can see that she cares about him a lot. I wish that I had a sister like that, mine is the exact opposite lmao. But she is also very guilt tripping -- that's similar to mine. From what I had seen, she tried her best, but didn't really know what Takumi actually wanted.
Seeing another suimei academy student, and with a sword too? Something must be up.
Later we get a couple funny scenes at McD, rlly wholesome. Now I also know where the burger sticker comes from. He told her "Have fun getting fat, cow" -- what lmaoo?? I didn't expect that. Also sad that Taku couldn't get his anime ringtone... Stupid gero froggy too, labubu of 2009
Later there's a chat with Grim, he gets Takumi in the know for the nth time. We learn about the fourth case. Takumi gets b8. Wtf pickle man ahhh murder? But what's concerning is the text... Whose eyes are those eyes?
There's definitely a lot of stuff that's yet to be known. I don't exactly know how Takumi does it, or how deluded our perception is, but something is not matching up with the evidence. I'm really curious about how the phrase "whose eyes are those eyes" got out of Takumi's mind if only he knows about it? Now that I'm remembering the school scene with the chalkboard... What if we really have a hole in our perception? What if Taku himself wrote that, but not him nor us can see it? But how exactly would this be written at a murderer scene... Could Taku really do that? No... I don't believe it. But who is the demon girl? Why was she okay with seeing Taku? I honestly reconsider making these logs. I don't want to spoil the story for myself with too much thinking.
