RISK: Deloousional Edition

[Maypews]

Turn 3 - S.F.R. of Yugoslavia (+5)

"Well, the world is getting really chaotic once again. The Hyperboreans aren't answering our calls for diplomacy, and the same goes for the 'Egyptians'. And further east it's all bleeding thanks to more inter-imperialist wars. We are, uhhh, against partisanism. We believe in peace, and freedom for the Southern Slavs, and socialism. so we won't take any sides. Keep the squabbling to yourselves."

These were the words of Marshall Alix Broz after von Ungern's invasion of the Outer Heaven. In other news, further peacekeeping missions into Serbia, Kosovo and Macedonia have been launched, earning an assortment of reactions from various European countries, alongside previous US president Bill Clinton. However, it seems that the JNA will succesfully keep its advances into the remaining ex-Yugoslav countries going, with the government enjoying great popularity and endorsements from figures such as Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek.



"Bill Clinton... Monika... why didn't we think of this before?"
"I uhhh touches nose don't think we should be doing this, you know, technology is like, you know, really complicated, creating minds like this, new technocyberian socialism is our dream model but this Japanese managerialist invention. it will just lead to, you know, the uhhh-"

Well, since you got dubs again, you ended up filling all of the former Yugoslavia plus Albania and still have 3 territories left. Where should I put the spills?

[alix]

Turn 3 - S.F.R. of Yugoslavia (+5)

"Well, the world is getting really chaotic once again. The Hyperboreans aren't answering our calls for diplomacy, and the same goes for the 'Egyptians'. And further east it's all bleeding thanks to more inter-imperialist wars. We are, uhhh, against partisanism. We believe in peace, and freedom for the Southern Slavs, and socialism. so we won't take any sides. Keep the squabbling to yourselves."

These were the words of Marshall Alix Broz after von Ungern's invasion of the Outer Heaven. In other news, further peacekeeping missions into Serbia, Kosovo and Macedonia have been launched, earning an assortment of reactions from various European countries, alongside previous US president Bill Clinton. However, it seems that the JNA will succesfully keep its advances into the remaining ex-Yugoslav countries going, with the government enjoying great popularity and endorsements from figures such as Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek.



"Bill Clinton... Monika... why didn't we think of this before?"
"I uhhh touches nose don't think we should be doing this, you know, technology is like, you know, really complicated, creating minds like this, new technocyberian socialism is our dream model but this Japanese managerialist invention. it will just lead to, you know, the uhhh-"

Well, since you got dubs again, you ended up filling all of the former Yugoslavia plus Albania and still have 3 territories left. Where should I put the spills?

Well, Tito had plans for Bulgaria, so...

[capstasher]

Ryder is set by the Byzantine commander to provide assistance to various raiding parties across Egypt. Each encounter, the Egyptean standing army thinks that it will be no issue to squash a small rebellion, but soon spot a horseless carriage in the enemy ranks, moving faster than the horses galloping alongside it. The carriage's only passenger then points a stick of wood and metal at a few of the army squad leaders and a lightningless thunder renders them dead on the spot, alongside their horse if they were on one. No shield can stop this ruthless attack. Believing the rebels to command a form of magic against them, the standing armies retreat one by one. Soon enough, even Cairo fell to the rebel forces.
"Quid tibi videtur, Riderow? Placentne tibi pyramides hic? Arabes hunc locum 'Al-Qāhirah'."
"Al-Cariah? Cairo? I tell you this ain't no Cairo. Cairo I grew up in has no pyramids. If it did I wouldn't have to go all the way to Memphis! But I'll be damned.. these are way better than the one in Memphis, though I've only seen that in the papers. Bellissimo, amico mio. Bellissimo."
"Bello? Placent tibi? Putavi te placere... Qua lingua loqueris, Riderow?"
"Lingua... uhh, that's language. Parlo inglese. You wouldn't happen to know someone who could translate for me, would ya?"
"Anglice dicis? Nuntium ad meos milites mittam, ut tibi interpretem Anglicum inveniant. Latina tua lingua non admodum bona est, mi amice."
"Amice, amice. Yeah, I don't know if friends force each other to fight in wars..."
"Interea, reliquam Aegypti partem nobis expugnanda est."
"Whatever you say, man. I'll just spend some time here. I want to look at the Pyramids some more..." Ryder says, stretching in the bed of his truck, watching as the sun sets on the Pyramids of Giza.
The next day, he would be back in battle, to conquer the rest of Egypt, and if possible, the area to its West. Unbeknownst to him, he just became the spark of hope in the resurgence of the Byzantine Empire.

[alix]

Ryder is set by the Byzantine commander to provide assistance to various raiding parties across Egypt. Each encounter, the Egyptean standing army thinks that it will be no issue to squash a small rebellion, but soon spot a horseless carriage in the enemy ranks, moving faster than the horses galloping alongside it. The carriage's only passenger then points a stick of wood and metal at a few of the army squad leaders and a lightningless thunder renders them dead on the spot, alongside their horse if they were on one. No shield can stop this ruthless attack. Believing the rebels to command a form of magic against them, the standing armies retreat one by one. Soon enough, even Cairo fell to the rebel forces.
"Quid tibi videtur, Riderow? Placentne tibi pyramides hic? Arabes hunc locum 'Al-Qāhirah'."
"Al-Cariah? Cairo? I tell you this ain't no Cairo. Cairo I grew up in has no pyramids. If it did I wouldn't have to go all the way to Memphis! But I'll be damned.. these are way better than the one in Memphis, though I've only seen that in the papers. Bellissimo, amico mio. Bellissimo."
"Bello? Placent tibi? Putavi te placere... Qua lingua loqueris, Riderow?"
"Lingua... uhh, that's language. Parlo inglese. You wouldn't happen to know someone who could translate for me, would ya?"
"Anglice dicis? Nuntium ad meos milites mittam, ut tibi interpretem Anglicum inveniant. Latina tua lingua non admodum bona est, mi amice."
"Amice, amice. Yeah, I don't know if friends force each other to fight in wars..."
"Interea, reliquam Aegypti partem nobis expugnanda est."
"Whatever you say, man. I'll just spend some time here. I want to look at the Pyramids some more..." Ryder says, stretching in the bed of his truck, watching as the sun sets on the Pyramids of Giza.
The next day, he would be back in battle, to conquer the rest of Egypt, and if possible, the area to its West. Unbeknownst to him, he just became the spark of hope in the resurgence of the Byzantine Empire.

"Uh, Mr. Marshall?"

"Yes, what it is?"

"Some of our contacts down under have discovered connections between American officials on Cairo and various neo-Byzantine movements. This could very well pose a great danger to our interests in the Mediterranean and-"

"Yeah, wars, blood everywhere, the typical. I need to take a look at all of the files you have."

"Sure, sir."

grabs the phone "So Slavoj, I guess that you have been taking a look at the situation with the Egyptians and Americans down there-"

"Yes uh, it's a bit like this you know the monarchist elements back in the 90s and well, you see, it's because of the growth of American imperialism and its well metamorphosis into neo-roman basilean expansionist pharaonism, like it was uhhh Lacan or this guy or surprisingly even-" click

"Jesus. I need to get her running as soon as possible."



In other news, the Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia has sent forward various proposals for a meeting with the leader of the Egyptian Kingdom of Memphis, in hope of furthering diplomatic relations between the two nations and striking various deals over each country's claims to the Mediterranean.

[Maypews]

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Turn #4

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[dokyun]

Zanzibar Land | Turn #4 | Bonus +1

Morale among the Zanzibar Land mercenaries has improved since the recapture of the capital, and Big Boss hopes to clear up his intentions both for his own army, as well as the Mongol aggressors and for those on the world stage watching the spectacle unfold through immediate action.

United States presidential candidate George Sears staunchly criticized the Bush administration's response to the outbreak of the war yesterday, capaigning on the platform that America has to uphold its legacy when Eastern aggressors rear their ugly heads. Journalists have also been inquiring about the candidate's striking physical resemblance to the Zanzibari head of state, but his PR team has chosen not to comment on the grounds of "refusing to feed the tabloids".

Having regained control of Outer Heaven and driven the Mongol hordes from Afghanistan, the Southern tip of Pakistan can now be claimed to form a cohesive region for the state. Units are now moving in to reclaim Tajikistan, and if that operation proves successful further units will move in to take Kyrgyzstan and Turkmenistan along with it. Spills will go towards cutting through Southwestern Xinjiang, with the capture of Nepal being a priority.

[Maypews]

The Second Mongol Empire (+6) - Turn 4

April 24th
Arbob Palace
Khujand, Occupied Tajikistan

POV - Roman von Ungern
3:00 PM
It is in the newly liberated Arbob Palace, styled after Russian architecture, that a rally has been organised. This rally is free for all military personnel as well as civilians to attend. Many modern leaders are afraid to come out to the frontlines, to show their faces around a warzone. I see it as a sign of the deragadation of modern times; the slow death of nobility, chivalry and the warrior's spirit.

I am no such coward. From this podium I will talk directly my people. I will reach for their ears and grasp into their souls.

"The early going of this military campaign has been a success. We were able to repell the enemy forces out of Tajikistan and liberate it from the hands of the menace of Outer Heaven. This triumph deserves nothing more than a grand appalause!"

I pause my words and the crowd livens up, with cheers and claps being heard around the palace's exterior. After a few seconds pass, I speak up once more

"But do not be fooled! Our enemy is a worthy advisory. While they may be lacking in numbers, their military personnel consists of elite soldiers and tacticians. We may have won the battle, but the war is far from decided. It is likely that they will attempt to capture Karachi while we aren't looking and snatch up all of the local resources.

While this is likely an inevitability, we must push onwards through the North and attempt to nullify the effect of these resources before they can be transported back up to the frontlines. This will require an exceptional courage and clever thinking. I have no doubts that you are all capable of it but it is important to stress one thing. Overconfidence precedes carelessness! If you aren't careful, fate may make you be off by the slimmest of margins.

If we are to restore the legacy of this once great nation, if we are to make the great God of the skies himself proud, if we are to form an empire that the great Temujin would look down upon with pride, we must give it our best. We will not be conquered! The Mongols will triumph once more and show to the world what a true everlasting warrior spirit looks like!"

I pump my first into the air and the crowd erupts. The sound of the audience is deafening,

--
8:27 PM
Following the events of the earlier day, I head back to the board room and discuss military plans with our high ranking generals. Military decisions are generally made by an executive committee consisting of said-generals. Today's plan involves us attempting to hold the Tajik bonus and all of our general front lines, with any spills going to disrupting the Pakistani bonus that the Zanzibaris are attempting to slyly claim next turn. I sign off on the plan without complaint, as it seems clearly to be the best course of action as of now.

[alix]

S.F.R. of Yugoslavia - Turn 4 (+7)

Patroling Bulgaria and Northern Greece almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter...

[capstasher]

(Quick roll because out of time)
With the translator still yet to be found, and running low on diesel and ammo, Ryder is forced to try to communicate to the Byzantine commander yet again through broken Italian to explain his need for supplies. He had to, in the end, seek them out himself. He obtained the the animal fat from the market, created his own lye, and haggled through body language with a local alchemist for the rest of the ingredients. He managed to brew some additional biodiesel and even built a rudimentary musket, using for it his own home made gunpowder. The Byzantine commander asked him to teach one of his engineers how to replicate this thunder stick, and the engineer began works on making them for the whole mercenary army they hired. Once again, Ryder is tasked to lead the charge against Egyptean forces, and push into the rest North Africa if possible. Though he had a hard time understanding what exactly the commander said, Ryder heard of a group of slavs in the North, across some sea or other, who may be brewing up some trouble. Ryder's journey seems to stretch on ever further.

[Maypews]

Present Day, Present Time. Turn 5.

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