RISK: Deloousional Edition

[Maypews]

Present day, present time. Turn 11.

deluooderiskturn11.png (978.3 KiB) Viewed 80 times

[capstasher]

"Perhaps we could trade? My Mongol army possesses large quantities of firearms and early tank armour. If you let me temporarily hold on to this gun so that I can run it through my military advisors and see if they are able to replicate the technology inside of it, we could perhaps produce it en masse and modernise our army further. We could also sell some of these arms to you later to replace the older ones we give you if you'd like. In fact, I am rather quite interested in entering into a formal alliance with Egypt. Would this be satisfactory to you?"

Ryder thinks on my words for a moment.. before finally deciding. @capstasher

Ryder mulls it over for a while, occasionally taking a swig of his own separate moonshine bottle and stroking the fur of the Mongolian hat he wore. He doesn't need Lawrence or any of the Byzantine advisers to tell him handing over his shotgun to a nation he isn't even allied with yet could spell Catastrophe (notice the capital 'C') if they were to turn on him. Now he's already made a makeshift gun back in Egypt, for the Royal Engineers to try to replicate in mass, and it seems even the Baron was impressed by his grandfather's old reliable, so perhaps the Mongols are not too far ahead technologically to what the Byzantine colony will soon have. On the other hand, if they were to manage to replicate this shotgun this would give them so much more firepower than the makeshift flintlocks ever could, and having a steady supply of shells would help not only his troops but himself as well, should he ever get into trouble. But what if the Baron was to decide to turn on them later on? If the Mongols were the only ones capable of manufacturing shells all the shotguns in the world would turn to scrap.
Decisions, decisions...
Ryder takes another swig of moonshine.
.
.
.
...moonshine.
"Tell you what, I'll cut-chya deal. Now this here shotgun is very sentimental to me, it's one of my only memories of back home. I reckon a fella like you'se been gone from home for donkey's years before as well, am I right? Now I will hand ya this here beauty on two conditions."

"Riderow, thou ne mayst verrayly thynken upon this! Gif we yiven up our oonly thonder-club to the Mongoles-"

"Pipe down, pipe down, Lawrence. I got it all thought out. The first, you teach my men how to make ammunition for it. This here thing don't shoot regular bullets, it shoots shells. Birdshot, buckshot, slugs. I have a few left in a box back in the Carruca which one of the guys round here could bring to ya. We don't want no funny business later down the line. We'll buy the guns from ya if we can make our own ammunition. I reckon that's a fair condition. The second, you take a good long swig of my moonshine and you don't spill your guts right out straight after. I ain't come from a line of bootlegers to make deals with fellas who can't handle their berw. I promise ya it ain't poisoned or nothin' of the sort, I'll even drink from the same bucket before you to show ya."

"Riderow, this nys no wise to speken to a straunge lord, he myghte have us slayn right here and-"

Ryder does not break eye contact with the Baron, but shoves his index finger over Lawrence's mouth. Though sweat begins dripping down his brow he has a determined look in his eye. Not malicious, nor unwelcoming, but the look of someone who knows how to act in front of predators to not appear as pray. You see, fair few swindlers passed through Cairo back in Tennessee, they all had the same shtick. Their car would have some issues, good enough to drive but not good enough to pass a check. The part would usually be expensive too, think something like a catalytic converter. Ryder got burned with one of these scams early on in his time at his uncle's garage. His uncle Tony stepped out to deal with some business, leaving young Ryder in charge of the shop. A Camry pulls up in the shop, owner says his catalytic converter is having some issues. He was going to get it sorted at a friend's shop but said friend had some business of his own to attend to, but he needs the repair done today to pass the emission testing. The repair doesn't take long, and the part was already in shop since Camrys are common round these parts. When it comes to the payment, however, the driver says he already paid for one at his friends shop, and can arrange for it to be sent over to replace the one Ryder installed. He drops the contact details of his friend's shop and goes about his business. When his uncle returns and learns of what transpired, he is positively furious. He nearly kicked Ryder out that day. And for good reason, too. Upon calling the shop, the owner feigns being completely unaware of such a deal, or of the driver entirely.
Few others tried the scam in the coming years, each time with a different part. Sometimes though, a genuine case of such a thing occurred. Each time, during the price negotiations, Tony kept the same determined look in his eyes. A look that could see through a mans eyes straight into his soul. The moment he saw them break character, even for a split second, he would undo the repairs and send them on their way. This is the spell Ryder's eyes were casting on the Baron at this very moment.

"And one more thing, though not a condition, I think you'd like something of this sort as much as I would. How about one of them... what do them libertarians call it... a non aggression deal, or pact, or whatever ya call it? You don't wrong me and I don't wrong you. We each keep to our own corner of the world and don't cause each other needless headache. What do ya say? You wanna shake on it?"
Ryder spits into his hand, and extends it towards the Baron, awaiting a handshake. @Maypews

(Expanding down into the Arabian peninsula, not taking anything that's already taken, with any spills to Spain and Portugal. Bonus: +12)
(Ah, May, you bastard, I was working on this when you ended the turn, I didn't know when you'd send it through)

[Maypews]

"Perhaps we could trade? My Mongol army possesses large quantities of firearms and early tank armour. If you let me temporarily hold on to this gun so that I can run it through my military advisors and see if they are able to replicate the technology inside of it, we could perhaps produce it en masse and modernise our army further. We could also sell some of these arms to you later to replace the older ones we give you if you'd like. In fact, I am rather quite interested in entering into a formal alliance with Egypt. Would this be satisfactory to you?"

Ryder thinks on my words for a moment.. before finally deciding. @capstasher

(Expanding down into the Arabian peninsula, not taking anything that's already taken, with any spills to Spain and Portugal. Bonus: +12)
(Ah, May, you bastard, I was working on this when you ended the turn, I didn't know when you'd send it through)

Ehhh, I'll count it and edit it into the map, it would be a shame if someone lost out on a turn for the crime of making a high effort post. You were only an hour late and to be fair the time I advance at does vary, though like I said I always give it at least 24 hours before proceeding.

[Parzival]

"Good morning, my-"

"Were it only."

"What- What's your proposed..."

"You know my story, don't you Prokofyich?"

"Of course, yours is the story that made modern Russia, and will remake the world."

Yuriev chortles, "Such a romantic way to paint it. I am merely a man granted great opportunity by astounding, yet still altogether random, happenstance."

Prokofyich keeps silent. Yuriev continues. "Selimović seems intent on war, and I am not intent on facing a power from a further century than ours. Though I have tried to use my knowledge from the Navy and what I saw on that fateful day when I glimpsed into time, I fear this layer of the anomaly simply is still too far behind in our level of advancement."

"Nonsense! The Gonshchik, Vertolet, tank and ballistic missile programs have been staggering successes! They've helped us sweep across the plains in ways we could've only dreamed of before you came along!"

"And yet, we remain constrained by the Neo-Bolsheviks to our South, the actual ones to our East, and while I much prefer the Baron to either of those two, it is difficult to trust a mad dog chasing a mad dream, though I am forced to for the moment."

Prokofyich grimaces, "If only if weren't for those Outer Heaven bastards selling such vital information to those displaced future Bolshevik intelligence apparatchiks... I know they're mercenaries, but to think they couldn't even be noble in defeat."

"What's done is done, Prokofyich, I would have done much the same myself." Prokofyich shuts up at that. "And besides, such setback may ultimately prove to be fortuitous. Thanks to the mercenaries' "Big Boss", we came to know of and find another displaced countryman of ours."

"Do you mean...?"

"How are our latest tanks, verts, and gonschchiks?"

"Our MK.5's are the latest, state of the art."

"By our standards, I presume they're quite advanced, though I doubt they're more advanced than their 1980's at best."

Yuriev stares out into the vastness in silence for a moment before speaking again. "We'll have to make do with what we've got, advance into Poland with all you've got. Blitzkrieg our way to the German border at the very least if we can't outright penetrate into it." (+9 (the bonus map counts Crimea as rightful Russian clay so I've got Ukraine locked down)(+ PALINDROME BONUS))

"Sir, the Yugoslavs made it clear they won't tolerate our further expansion."

"Nor us theirs."

He instructs Proko to make the following declaration of his public:

"The Socialist Federal Republic of Yugoslavia yesterday declared its intent, under Premier Alix Selimović's authority, to wage war against their fellow Slavs and indeed fellow Europeans as a whole in the name of a scarcely distinguishable from Soviet barbarism ideology should the peoples of this continent continue our righteous fight against the terror of international finance and usury that seeks to exploit not just us, but all mankind!

I am a rational man, however, and I do not seek any more bloodshed than already plagues this continent. My ambassadors and indeed, I myself, stand ready should Yugoslav ambassadors or even Selimović herself wish to speak and come to amenable terms on the matter of our differences so that we can continue the liberation of our respective spheres of influence without coming to blows and inevitably painting the continent in blood.

We have designated Berlin as a neutral space to engage in talk, so long a temporary pact of non-aggression be forged for the purposes of these talks.

I ask of Selimović, I ask of the peoples of the Republic of Yugoslavia, I ask of all of Europe: Would you have yet another Great War?

I ask you to see your fellow Europeans, not ideology.

Could you live, or die, knowing you will go down as responsible for such carnage?

"An excellent address, sir."

"We may have war yet, I'll let Selimović have Germany only over my dead body."

"I can imagine little greater nightmare than the Reds taking Germany, save for perhaps them having our Russia."

"I've seen a greater nightmare than either, Prokofyich. When I gazed into time. I gazed into a possible future, one almost guaranteed save for under certain conditions."

"Such as?"

"Our complete and total victory." He looks out again into the distance, his gaze haunted by visions of a threatening future. "I saw a world, it didn't matter who "won", the Reds or the West- where a vast and all-consuming communication network gathers not only nigh every shred of human information before it, but eventually all of mankind itself. Our very souls. Reality itself. I realized it after coming here. Why the Capitalist West and the Communist East allied to defeat the Germans and Italians of my time. Bitter enemies. Complete opposites. Can you hazard a guess?"

"I'm afraid not, sir."

"Because it's a lie. Their whole conflict: a sham. Ideological theater. "Our" financiers funded them, both during the original instance of the Civil War and in the Second Great War of my time. And they sit in our political offices, they create our laws and manage our funds. Seeing thru and into time made it clear, it all ends up in the same place because they're both heading toward the same place, the people of the West and East are merely the subjects of carefully constructed social experiments to determine by what path is that place best reached by the managerial class and their financiers.

That's why they waged such furious war against the Fuhrer, Duche, and Emperor: because they recognized in them the one true threat to the system created by their false dichotomy. And so to do they recognize it in us."

Proko stands there, a bit stunned, The Supreme Leader rarely engages in such rants outside of the balcony.

"I do what I do to ensure the future of humanity isn't embodied in the visage of a boot stamping on a human face, forever, and granted virtual credit for the privilege. Should we fail..." He tries not to think of it, and moves on, "Dyatlov returned recently, yes? Have a reconnaissance unit embedded in our forces heading into Poland and toward Germany sneak him around Yugoslavia and into the Kingdom of East Memphis as our ambassador to this "Riderow of Cairo" I hear of. I have my suspicions about him, but Africa is too many layers away from us in the anomaly for word to travel well enough. Have him confirm or deny them, and if he is a fellow displaced, ensure Dyatlov makes it clear that I wish to have a meeting with him concerning the situation in Europe and how it may effect his Kingdom and - if my suspicions are correct- America."

"Yes, Supreme Leader." and he turns to leave to fulfill his task when Yuriev stops him.

"Oh, and speaking of the displaced. Our displaced countryman. Our research divisions' primary focus should still be The Bomb, but see to it that Sokolov is provided with the best materials and our brightest engineering minds from both our core and conquered territories, especially if we've found any other displaced.

The Gonschchik Engineering Corp has all but perfected the industrial scale production cycle of more than serviceable gonschchiks, their primary focus will henceforth be shifted to Project Mirnyy Shagohod."

[Parzival]

PALINDROME BONUS TOO LETS GOOOOOO

[alix]

S.F.R. of Yugoslavia - Turn 11 (+26)

"Maldita Hyperborea!!! Planea fingir ser un país inocente para luego traicionarnos con Alemania!!! No te lo perdon-"

"Marshall, were you saying something?"

"Ohh, uhh, nothing. Just reading this Spanish poem. Have the Hyperboreans done anything new?"

"No, my Marshall. They've mostly remained silent after their condemnation of socialism and offers of a summit."

"'Righteous fight against international finance and usury'... If you hate the banks so much why don't you just read Marx instead of joining a mad bunch of reactionary national-capital collaborationists? And now they want us to stay silent like I'm some kind of new Stalin while they get more troops in Poland and they... Jesus, I'm getting too worked out. I need something."

"So, I'll take that you aren't going to the summit?"

"Of course, I won't. We're Yugoslavs, for fuck's sake. We're famous for fighting against fascists back in the 40s and trying to deal with them would be like pissing on Marshall Tito's grave. But we just can't invade them since that's how 'foreign relations' work... You know what? We're not gonna do anything. We're gonna be normal. We're gonna be so fucking normal. Let them invade Poland if they want for now. Zilch."

The assistant leaves in a hurry as Alix starts angrily ordering papers. Yugoslavia needs to be completely prepared for the soon-to-come great moment that will change the history of the continent before the war starts.

Spoiler

On other news, Yugoslavia has remained silent after Emperor Yuriev's condemnation of the Yugoslav model and his proposals of a summit between the two Slavic nations. Reports from inside Beograd have been minimal as Selimović's government has began working day and night in the preparations for what previous leaks indicated to be a "special day". Whistleblowers have been arrested by the UDBA, alongside a flurry of nationalist politicians in what's been declared "a fight against reactionary sabotage". Some of the government's main figures have also been taking various tours and meetings with world figures, in what seems to be an attempt to get global recognition and support.

Finish Switzerland and move all of our troops to France, focusing on filling the borders with Spain and if possible Germany.

[alix]

(Fucked up something with the rolls, use this post's first dice roll as the true one)

[Maypews]

2nd Mongol Empire (+16) - NAP: Outer Heaven, Egypt

The Mongol special military operation continues, filling in more unoccupied parts of Russia to guarantee that they do not fall into the hands of the vile Yugoslav menace.

@capstasher We gracefully accept your NAP, and the Baron has looked you dead in the eye after Ryder's challenge, vowing to down it without so much as flinching, After many attempts he is finally successful, and he finds your terms regarding ammunition agreeable. In fact, he had planned to supply your men with ammunition regardless.

[dokyun]

Outer Heaven | Turn #11 | Bonus +12 | NAP: 2nd Mongol Empire | Ally: Yugoslavia

They say it takes about a month to cross the Saudi desert by camel. It's been a bit less than two weeks, and it looks like the Egyptians are expecting to meet us halfway. This was going to be a diplomatic mission at first, and it might still turn out that way depending on how it goes.

POV: Big Boss

"Looks like they're trying to pick a fight, boss. They could've easily taken Portugal with what it took to stop us halfway through the peninsula. What do you think they're getting at?"

"I think they're trying to test us. See if we'll back down."

"That's right, and with the NAP they've signed with the Mongols they won't end up being a thorn in their back if they decide to attack now. The only option is to strike first."

"Don't get ahead of yourself. We just need to send them a message. This is a diplomatic mission, after all."

"You're probably right. By the way boss, we heard-"

"Yeah, I know. The data I handed out was outdated before the war even broke out. Almost every major army's running around with some variant of Sokolov's designs these days, and anything he's got to give them will be obsolete compared to what we have going back at Outer Heaven. They were his designs originally, but we've iterated significantly. We're talking decades of advancement, and they're still working with Cold War technology. Even an era's best minds exhaust their usefulness."

"But aren't you worried? Another nation with nuclear launch capability could mean catastrophe without a primary deterrent. And who knows how long it'll take before they catch up!"

"I'm not saying we shouldn't be concerned, but we have bigger fish to fry. If we want Metal Gear MAU (Mobile Automatic Unit) to be the superior platform, we need to keep covering ground. Stick to the mission."

(Keep pushing into Saudi Arabia, then defend it once it's ours. Spills can fill out the rest of the Gulf we haven't claimed.)

[capstasher]

The New Kingdom of East Memphis | NAP: Yugoslavia, 2nd Mongolian Empire

After the long negotiations with Baron, Ryder entrusts his Winchester to the Mongolians alongside his leftover ammunition, and he heads back to Cairo. Along the way, a messenger encounters the party and delivers news on an invasion of newly conquered territory in the Arabian Peninsula by the Outer Heaven forces. The leader of Outer Heaven (Megas Archon, as the messenger called him) also wants to hold a meeting to discuss matters.

"Well damn, we did kinda box them in, I suppose. Problem is we ain't got many places to go from 'ere and that there Commander Theo wants me to keep expandin'. We had a peace agreement with The Yugoslavs we won't take up Europe beyond Southern Spain. Guess we got no other choice than to fight back on this. Lawrence, tell these guys to arrange for a message to be sent to the Slavs that we seek to expand into Spain and that small country next to it. If they ain't willin' to budge on it, we might have to break off that pact we agreed to."

"As thou wilt, Ridero."

"I guess we ain't goin' back to Cairo either. We got some fightin' to do... It just all never ends, does it?"

(Expansion into Arabian Peninsula, in unconquered territories or territories controlled by Outer Heaven. Spills go to Portugal. Bonus: +10 (I said 12 last time, thought Morocco and West Sahara were separate, Please subtract 2 from this roll this time around May, sorry T~T))